Blocland Commenter California is a God of Sex. I know this isn’t exactly breaking news (ask any of his ex-lovers and their hundreds of orgasms) but we just had to report it.

Word is that he knows all the good spots for sex and has a hot long rod. Knows how to use it too. Sources indicate it may have an upward curve.

He also knows about boobs. Even touched a few. Heard he can even remove a bra.

“Dang” was the collective reply from the Blocland Staff upon hearing this revelation. We don’t know much bout bras round here. Yacht saw one once and told us about it.

I could learn a lot from california. i am bad at sex.

-blochead

California is the Zeus of the bedroom. His lightning always leads to thunder.

California is a Sex God.

The King of Fucking.

  • California

    I can neither confirm nor deny the veracity of these allegations.

    • California

      But they’re true.

      • Doris Montgomery

        100% true. Our sources are very reliable

        • California

          You want me to mail you your phone charger, btw?

  • Blochead4real

    Everything in this article is true. Also, I’m typing this with my tongue.

  • Cooolin

    Oof this piece is makin’ me sweaty and bothered.

    • Doris Montgomery

      our 2nd erotic post

  • DFrye

    Big Black made an album about him in 1987. True story.

    • Blochead4real

      He was the topic for Pixies “Gigantic”

      • DFrye

        The band Big Gigantic named themselves after him.

        • DFrye

          There is a band called Throatruiner. You guessed it…

          • California

            Okay, that’s a bit excessive. I mean, less than 15% of my partners have complained, but those 15% seem to be the loudmouths…

  • raptor jesus

    The upward curve?! GAH!!! LUCKY!!!!!

    If only we could all be so sexually prowess’d

  • LeMonjello

    Great pull quote. Truth.

    • DFrye

      “Pull” quote

  • Saul Wright

    Sounds like California should do the next Oral History.

  • meat

    more like californication…right gang?
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/staf.gif