Image result for good charlotteBrothers: bodies bound by blood. Blessed boys. These words start with the letter “B.” But don’t get it twisted fam – there was nothing Grade “B” about Hot Topic teen sensations, Good Charlotte. They were Grade A. Teens across the land yearned for the supple taste of the Madden brother’s lips, and these coy pups knew just how to work it. Good Charlotte was super fuckin lit .

Hailing from D.C., you better know they kept it all the way 💯. The Madden’s knew how to fight, AND fuck. Indeed, the Madden brothers were an example of contrasts. The boys were styled as a chill, punk as fuck pair of goth twins.

Benji, the muscle of the band, had tons of like chill piercings, like the way his eyes pierced into your soul and told you, “Go steal ur dad’s liquor. Let’s go see Rancid.” He would totally open up a can of beets on anybody that crossed him, or his band.

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Joel, the bambi of the group, vacillated between a short cropped, first choice hair cut, and a johnnyfuckhead, drooping bang that said “I’m an enigma.”

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The clothes were black. The hair was black. The music was a bubblegum dream. The Maddens made the kind of music that us teenagers love. Peppy and catchy pop-rock, with Joel dropping some of those fire rhymes. Back before lil uzi vert’s friends were dead – before triple extension was beating his pregnant girlfriend – when they were just dropping poop into their dumb diapers, the Maddens were redefining what it meant to be punk. The boys proved that you could be punk AND get that guap! The boys even had their own clothing line called “MADE” and they would wear it in the videos, which was super tight. Similar to the ASAP rocky clothing line “Raf Simmons.” Pretty sick.

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They were the kings of glam-emo-rap. The original. And they did super good. They got stacks and were #1 on the Billboard charts (Billboard was a super old company that would rank music – like spotify “Announcements”). They were so sick that they got on the cover of Rolling Stone, which was a paper magazine for dads that you had to like buy from like 7-11. lol.

These guys did it without social media. They couldn’t just like promote a tweet. They had to go out and put in that work. And it paid off. Joel totally cleaned up. He hooked up with Hillary Duff (who was like Selena Gomez when she was on Wizards of Waverly Place) before he smashed with Nicole Ritchie (idk who that is, lol) and had two kids, which is cool. Guess he’s a dad now, lmao. Joel is still pretty hot tho, cuz he always bites his lower lip as if to say “daddy’s been bad. oops.”

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But bad-boy Benji CLEANED. UP. He married some chick that was in a ton of old movies and was super poplar.

There were other members of the band too. There was salad fingers on the guitar (guitar is what ed sheeran plays)

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And the bass player was pretty cool too

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They wrote a ton of cool songs. When you’re taking a break from bumpin that new Uzi,  you guys should def get down with it:

Be chill.

– Uncle Don

  • Doris Montgomery

    Dang feel so enlightened

    • Padfoot24

      Nothing like some teen drama to help you feel connected to the youths

    • Cooolin

      Good conteent

  • Blochead4real

    I laughed multiple times reading this. I’m hoping that was the desired response.

    • Don

      Wow thank u. Truly it was an honour to have the opportunity to educate young teens about chill trends from history. History doesn’t have to be boring – teachers are just frickin lame lmao

      • Blochead4real

        Pretty sure the youth don’t know what “lmao” is tho, gramps.

        • Cooolin

          laugh my android obsolete

        • Don

          Lil Uzi voice “HAH. HUH? WAT.”

    • Doris Montgomery

      its lit as heck

  • Padfoot24

    Throw all yr hands up

  • raptor jesus

    I’m sure even having the words “gang rape” plastered over your band doesn’t dilute the feeling of being on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine (whatever the fuck that is lol)

    • Don

      It’s leaning into them too on the picture. Tight design choice

      • Saul Wright

        that is such a crazy design choice.

        multiple people thought that was a good idea…

  • lobster man

    LOL

  • meat

    I was biting my lower lip throughout that entire read 👏👏

  • Cooolin
  • PANTSUIT

    Sk8ter boi Posers

  • Saul Wright

    “Brothers: bodies bound by blood. Blessed boys. These words start with the letter “B.”

    straight-up the best introduction to an article on blocland ever