Welcome Mother Gopher.

We are here to celebrate Mother Gopher’s month of February. February is named after Mother Gopher Februarisiss, the world’s first Gopher.

Follow me in Februarisiss’s prayer:

“We pray to suckle from Mother Gophers ample breast in order to enrich our empty souls. We pray to burrow within the Earth in search of worms and other small insects to sacrifice to Mother Gopher. We pray to shower with the thought of Mother Gopher. If we are aroused by the thought we prayMother Gopher will gnaw off the aroused extremity. In all things we give praise to Mother Gopher. Amen.”

May you have a Blessed February. Remember to do unto others as you would do unto the kind Gopher.

  • meat

    i had no idea people got aroused by gophers! gophigure!

    • Doris Montgomery

      Mother Gopher’s body is ample in all the right places.

      • Blochead4real

        I can almost guarantee you we all know somebody that gets aroused by gophers

        No names

        • lobster man

          Speaking of which, get that boy over here. I can think of no better place for a budding journalist to make his bones.

          Just don’t tell him I’m here. Ya know, the animal thing.

    • DFrye

      I can’t speak to gophers but you haven’t lived until you’ve gotten head from an agitated porcupine.

  • blocher4real


  • LeMonjello

    May your labyrinthine burrows lead us to the foothills of everlasting spring! CHIRP! GLORY! CHIRP! CHIRP!

  • theyachtmaster

    what the fuck doris